Around the World in 100 Pubs

Crocodiles may well be fearsome beasts but their meat tastes like chicken and when it’s 50 degrees Celsius in the shade Carlton Draught tastes better than any craft beer on the planet. I learnt these valuable life lessons in the Northern Territory at a table (in the shade) at the Humpty Doo Hotel. I walked to the bar to buy a drink. A horde of ragged men in soiled high viz glared at me. I thought to myself, this is the outback, this is 'Straya. The bartender, with more beads of sweat on his forehead than a skipping boxer in Dubai, looked up and said, ‘Geez you’re a tall c**t.’ What do you say to that? At least it’s more original than, ‘how’s the weather up there?’ or ‘you should play basketball’. ‘A couple Carlton Draughts thanks,’ I said. He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand spraying perspiration across the bar and turned to pour me a beer. https://www.humptydoohotel.com.au/

Cronico bar will always remind me of The Big Lebowski , or more specifically the Dude himself because, sometimes there's a man who, wal, he's the man for his time'n place, he fits right in there –  and that's the Dude, in Los Angeles . I spent many afternoons at Cronico during the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. It was perfect for that time and place, and the publican, a stout man who sat at the bar not behind it, watched the soccer with us, drank with us and watched the waitresses with us. He was a Latino version of the Dude. He was the man for that time and place, Palermo, Buenos Aires, 2014. Cronico Bar felt South American through and through, it felt right, even though it probably wasn’t. All the waitresses walked with that South American gait and we bought beer and snacks and cheered the soccer and then the day was done. And as far as the Dude goes, it’s good knowing he’s out there, taking her easy for all us sinners .